Hornitos, need I say more?

Ok, so I knew this day would come, I just thought it would be a little later in the game.

Trying to mix it up..I decide to swim yesterday. Wednesday, I kicked ASS at the gym. 3+ miles, ran for 40 minutes, and did weights...it felt SO good! Giving the body a "change" and easier on the bones/joints, Thursday I put the swimming suit on and get ready for the pool.

Now after 12 days of really doing good, eating healthy, no wine, minimal drink. Especially compared to what I use to drink on a daily bases, you can't even qualify what I'm having as a drink. You would think the bathing suit looks a bit better...ha. Oh, well the workout was pretty good, though.


A dieters biggest challenge is themselves.
I've been battling the NOPE, not even a pound do I feel lighter, or do I look thinner. That stupid brain of mine is trying to play tricks on me and get me discouraged. I keep beating back the thoughts of going off the rails and giving up.

So, I stay over positive...it was our "day off", we got a call for work off of a referral, which usually means we have a really good shot at getting the job, and that's good news. Russ was in complete "relax" mode, which is playing his XBOX, drinking, and being happy. I wanted some of that..
And that's how it began.

I don't blame Russ for enjoying his time, drinking, getting a little tipsy...most people would say what an "ASSHOLE", for not supporting me.  He doesn't hold me back or govern me, that's how are relationship is.  I am responsible for my own actions, and crap did I act. One shot, two shots, three shots, down. Music was playing, I was feeling good, had low fat homemade chili for dinner, TV off, and Triple Yahtzee for fun. And away I went, down that old familiar road.......

There is a reason I quit drinking..
1. I was out of control with how often and how much I was drinking.
2. I can almost be certain that my 30lbs of fat, is 29.9 alcohol.
3. The hangovers, my God, how did I ever function.
4. Its a habit, nothing more.

I paid the price this morning...heavy head, tired, bloated, and sore. My heartburn came back immediately, my joints were aching, and my head was telling me STUPID CHICA. Not to mention the "I need a fat greasy burger to cure this hangover"...which I did, at least I only ate half of it. No matter the damage is done.

I could beat myself up for this defeat, but I won't. I will remind myself that it has been 5years of this lifestyle that has created the habits, the extra weight and poor shape I am in. Its gonna take longer than 12 days to make a difference. I will have set backs, that's how this game is played...However, I hope I got the "drinking" set back out of my system...time will only tell.