Self Check

Funny how things change.

I started this blog to help myself stay in "check", accountable for my health, diet, and overall happiness. And here I am, once again, disappointed in my actions or lack of. Sometimes we slip, sometimes we fall, real hard, but we just still get back up on that "horse" again and again and again. Yet I felt like I was missing something, the bigger picture. The reasons and the whats that have been knocking me down.

Self Check in the most single important gift to one self. If it weren't for my friend, exposing the crucial importance of stepping back, taking a moment to "pause", gathering your thoughts and then going forward, I think I would be a mess right now.

Its time that I put my self in front of a mirror and focus. Focus on what it is that I want. To dig deep in my soul for every ounce of strength to pull me through this, because I have failed. Simple as that.

Along with my self check, I'm taking a break from the blog. Although it has become a second friend to me, I feel as if its also an "excuse". My confessional if you will, to wipe away all my sins, to be forgiven, and then make the same mistakes again. If I pour out my bad behavior on the Internet, then it really wasn't that bad...sometimes, the feed back was encouraging, which I quickly distorted into, "see everyone has bad days". My bad days have rotating around for 4 years, with the same conversation each time I've failed. I don't want this to be year 5. If there is any promise that I want to keep, minus the weight loss eating healthy, or making good decisions...is to be honest with myself.

So with that said, I hope to return....with good news, fun adventures, and new pictures. In the meantime good luck to all my friends who were following me on this journey, I hope yours, becomes what you intended to.

Cheers!